


How do you say 'runescape'?

by Anihan (Nakagami)



Series: A series of AUs. [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Video Game AU, Gen, Online Gaming, Pure Crack, Runescape - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 01:45:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/894345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakagami/pseuds/Anihan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even Sherlock needs a partner to complete the Shield of Arrav quest! Oh, and look at that: John_What_Sun and his guild leader Lustraid are willing to help the newbie out. </p>
<p>Yes, people. A RuneScape AU. Enjoy the crack!</p>
            </blockquote>





	How do you say 'runescape'?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Runescape](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/25111) by Jagex Ltd. 



"You, the illuminatingly-named 'John-underscore-What-underscore-Sun'. I am in need of a competent partner for the _Shield of Arrav_ quest. According to your name and speech patterns, you appear to be English and approximately twelve years old, and, judging by the fact that the bulk of your equipment are quest-only items, you are somewhat adept at the services I require. Do you consent to this partnership?"

"I didn't know you could do that."

"Dare I ask _which_ of the multitudes of things that can be done online that you, a child with restricted internet access, did not know of?"

"There, right there, in your words. You talked slantways. I didn't know you could do that in RuneScape."

Sherlock stared at the screen as if he couldn't fathom the stupidity found there. This time, it was his own. "I suppose that makes more sense as a title than Run-Escape," he conceded.

Considering the fact that John_What_Sun had merely not known of an in-game function and yet apparently Sherlock hadn't known the name of the game at all, John_What_Sun was forgiven for not using the proper term of 'italics'. The two of them turn out to be quite the team. Even if John was a good sixty levels above him.

~R~

"You, the ingeneously-named LikesBigTiddies. Which I am sure you do, as must your mother else it might have become painful for her to have continued breast-feeding you well into your thirties, although your chronic halitosis is not why I am contacting you now. It appears that you were dumb enough to take John_What_Sun out into the Player-versus-Player zone in the Wilderness and then attack him, costing both of you your lives and gear since _you_ were too stupid to save enough food for your escape route so that I could kill you here and reclaim my guildmate's possessions.

"But don't worry. That wasn't your only mistake, and the rest will make this victory all the sweeter. By the way, Likes-no space-Big-no space-Tiddies. One, keeping your password as 'Password123abc' was an absolutely imbecilic move, and two, don't kill someone and then brag about it to a member of their clan. And you spelled 'tits' wrong. You twit."

"Uh, Sherlock. How old are you again?"

"Nine. Why?"

"John: Because I think I'm in love with you and I want to know if it's legal."

"Shut up, Lustraid."

"Make me."

"I will!"

"Not at that level and with no equipment you won't!"

"Well make me more plate, O' Guildy Leader, and _then_ I will!"

"Telling him that you are going to harm him after he does you a favour is not condusive to obtaining the favour at hand. You taught me that, John. On the other hand, congratulations on learning the proper use of italics."

Lustraid's avatar was dancing around in a circle, laughing uproariously. He said, "Meet me back in Fally with 800 coal. I'll trade you that for a runite body, if you promise not to lose it again," and teleported away. 

Sherlock switched to Party-Only chat. "Don't bother then. The Wildy's his personal stomping grounds nowadays. He's positively addicted to danger. And property loss."

"Says the level twelve in mage robes I met in Al Kharid!" John's avatar was laughing now too. 

"Oh, just shut up and let's go meet him in Falador. Walk, don't teleport: I'm following you. I've got bananas in the bank for you." 

"You've already been to the island?!" Despite his apparent shock, John obeyed, guiding their avatars first across Barbarian Village (killing the Barbies along the way for their bones) and then over and around the dwarves' mountain. 

"Sherlock: No, it was a euphemism for my affection for you."

"Shut up, Lustraid!"

"Make me!" And then without a pause, Lustraid posted again. "Just don't use that same banana!"

"Oh dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into," John groaned. But he said it with a silly grin (An emoticon, Sherlock noted.) plastered on his avatar's face. "You know this is only my alt, right?"

There was a moment of stunned silence where even the music paused - no, actually, it was probably just lag - but then the whole guild started shouting all at once. It felt a bit like London. And that's kinda like home. 


End file.
